Why Every President Sucked

No. 25 · The Presidents

William McKinley

1897-1901

Entering office with an inaugural promise dedicated to non-interventionism, by the time McKinley left he had claimed U.S. dominion of Cuba, Puerto Rico and Guam by defeating Spain in the Spanish-American War. By throwing in an additional $20 million bargaining chip, McKinley was able to purchase the Philippine Islands from Spain as well, replacing Spain's violent military rule by mere American military occupation.

Lyrics

D, Em, C

I promised not to intervene
But you see, that's not what I mean
'cause now I see the benefit
of buying other governments

Cuba
Puerto Rico
Guam
and the Philippines

but I'm a good guy. Can't you see?
'cause Spain was even worse than we

Buy your enemies
Across the seas
Says William McKinley
I don't want to rule your lives
But it's the only way to make sure no one else can

From the book, published 2009 · song & page updated

William McKinley Buy your enemies
$20 million

All Forty-Three