No. 20 · The Presidents
James A. Garfield
1881
Garfield's brief term consisted nearly entirely of trying to make his long-time political enemy Roscoe Conkling angry. After nominating a Conkling rival to his cabinet, Conkling resigned from the Senate out of frustration leading Garfield to believe he had “won.” However, this only stirred an unending political squabble that lasted until Garfield's assassination just four months into his presidency.
Lyrics
C, Em, G, D/F♯
when I say Reagan, you say president.
Jefferson, Kennedy, you say president.
I say Lincoln, you say president
I say Garfield, you say cat
Garfield spent his presidency
Trying to make his enemies
Angry at the fact that he in fact did win
Roscoe Conkling, enemy one
Wanted a little recognition
Garfield said no way
I won, you lost, the piper's got to pay
Spite's what made up his cabinet
4 months later, he died to fit
shot by a man who wanted in
shouted the stalwarts would rise again
that's why we know the cat over the man
a lesson for all you kids out there
you pick a fight
you're going to get shot in the spine
when I say Garfield
you say president
Garfield. Odie!
Garfield. Lasagna!
See, it's not that easy
You shouldn't have been so sleazy
From the book, published 2009 · song & page updated
You say cat